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FREIBAD

by CONTWIG

/
1.
End of a time where abhorrence seems comely, When their choices sound kindly to me. Sixteen years where my will was nullified. They said : "For your own sake you will not be weak as a bride". All led by the fear of feeling ashamed, they cast me into a mold where I still not fit.
2.
Full Of Rage 01:49
I've always preferred nights to days cause they have this advantage that we don't have to hide our tears. My childhood was a sleepless night full of rage with the target of my knife as only doubts. And I still love those rainy days, when I am not afraid to meet you on the street, when you can't see the tears on my cheeks. When I don't need to run away.
3.
It’s a dead end, there is no way out. Walking on this street, my blood runs cold, my mind keeps telling me that I can’t, step back. I stand still, muscles tensed, fists clenched. The die is cast, my choice is made. No matter how, I have already disappointed everyone. I know I’m verging on insanity, but I keep asking myself : « Will there be enough blood shed? »
4.
I am the shadow of my doubts, molded by my fears, I’m still walking. Pacing up and down this road built with my regrets, even while the hell is paved with good intention.I lose my balance between self hate and anger, and Lady justice won’t tell me if i’ll use only one bullet. Will this street be a turning point or a dead end?
5.
But Afterall 02:25
“The world hated me, but not more than i hated myself.” I’m now just a memory, the kind you don’t even try to remember. The kind you don't even have to try to forget. I know that it’s not me, the world wasn’t ready to host me. But after all, from mars everything you hate and love is just a single tiny dot.
6.
From Mars 01:49
The iron is cold and my skin can’t warm it up. My head is raw and my finger is freezing on the trigger. In my pain and loneliness, there is only one thing i wonder. I wonder if they will be sad and sometimes I would like to forget myself. I stand alone, bending, on the point of breaking. In my pain and loneliness, there is only one thing I wish i had known. There’s nothing worse than having nowhere to belong.
7.
I wish I wasn’t the mountain in your shoe, I wish I was the sand grain in a sea shell. I wish i would become softer and softer, I would be even more beautiful every day. Trapped in a body that isn’t mine anymore. You shaped it, you molded it being careless. And for now there is only my pain, your confort, and my suicide.
8.
Sometimes I thought that faith could have saved me, but prisoner of their own convictions, they told me I wouldn’t be free, But i’d rather live on my knees, you didn't let me live on my feet. And now there’s only a few thing I still need : A cliff, a rope, a bullet.

about

Recorded live by Ted Moody in January 2015 in Artopie, Meisenthal, FR.
Mixed by Amaury Sauvé in march 2015 at La Senelle, Laval, FR.
Mastered by Nick Zampiello in april 2015 at New Aliance East Mastering, Cambridge, USA.

Vinyl release by : BG Records/Don't Trust The Hype Rec/We Built the World and Miss The Stars/Saddestsong Rec/Dingleberry Rec/Rattat-tat-tat/Desertion Rec/Dorso Rec/Coffee Dopped Rec/Samegrey Rec/Tadzio Rec

Buy here: www.missthestars-records.com/product/contwig-freibad-vinyl/

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released June 4, 2015

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Miss The Stars Berlin, Germany

Miss The Stars Records is a small berlin based label and blog for screamo, emotive hardcore and violence.

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